Tuesday, June 24, 2008

You Can't Take it Back

You know, more people should put a lot more thought into the things they say.  Someone once told me, 'Words are like bullets, once you let them out, you can't take them back,' and people, this is true.  I learned about diplomacy when I was 10 years old.  My father took me, my aunt Alice and her new grandson out to lunch one day.  Thing was, the baby wasn't her grand baby at all.  Her son's wife had cheated on him, and everyone in the family was talking about how the baby wasn't my cousin's biological child.  So when we sat down to lunch, my aunt held up the baby and said," Doesn't he look just like Ed?"  (Her son)  I huffed and said, "No, I think he looks like Chris Lavon," (the man her daughter-in-law cheated with) My aunt said nothing, but put the baby back in the car seat. After a few minutes of strained silence, she got up and left the restaurant.  My father said, " Erin, do you know what diplomacy means?"  I said no.  He explained, saying, " You know, you hurt your aunt Alice very much by what you just said.  You should always think before you speak, and if what you are thinking may be rude or hurtful, then it is not necessary to go on and say it,"  I hadn't actually thought before I spoke, and frankly, it had never occurred to me that my words could hurt someone.  When I look back on it now, I am horrified, and hope to God that my aunt doesn't remember what I said that day.  I learned that lesson very early in life, and make a daily, conscious effort to make sure I choose my words carefully, analyzing my words almost to death, and the impact they may have on the listener.  It is easy to do, and I find that I am the better person in many situations, even if I am the only one who knows it.  Sometimes I nearly have to bite my tongue completely off  to keep my words in, but in the end, I find that this effort is always worth it.  If you read this, take a moment think before you speak;  If it's not necessary or constructive, then for the love of God, don't say it!  I guarantee you, people around you, especially spouses or significant others will love you for it. 


theKirkness said...

this is something I have always struggled with. In 7th grade my English teacher, who was really a cool teacher said something like.. "I love teaching here, I could be working anywhere with the degree I have, and get paid a lot more..."

And before I thought about what he was saying, I blurted out "Then why don't you?" I got sent straight to the office and had to explain myself.

oh well, nice post. thanks for stopping by my blog.

AND YOURE UGLY!!! damn I need to work on blurting stuff out.
JK :)

eurosat7 said...

Hello Erin,

Sorry for my bad english; I'm used to germany.

Well, I was born in the north of germany and me and my family still life there. We "Nordlichter" are known to be rough and quite lazy in speaking but if we speak we do it precise. We do not always say the things as they apear in our mind to each other but it is very close to it. And sometimes it hurts but at the end it is a lot easier in understanding each other. We know each other well - and so we are able to know when we are misunderstanding each other.

Reading your story confused me a bit - Maybe we're not that sensitive and easy to hurt. But what you learned out of it sounds a bit weired to me. A german word says "Children's mouths tell the truth", we never blaim children if they realize mistakes others did.

If you want to reply feel free to contact me: p0stst4ti0n-erinbarney@yahoo.de

have a nice stay on earth.